Wednesday, June 24, 2009

My daughter's birthday. . .


Today is my daughter's birthday. I haven't seen her in 16 years now. My latest mail to her was returned and I can't bear to try to send another and have its return break my heart again. My letter to her is on my shelf, unopened after its return. where it will be until I see her again or I am no longer living on this earth and someone tosses it on the rubbish pile.

Daily, I wonder where my daughter is? . . . what she is doing?. . . what kind of beautiful woman she turned out to be? . . . why she chose to never come home again?. . .if she got married? . . . if she has any children? . . . so many unanswered questions.

I just know that God gave me a precious gift on June 24, 1971, two days before she was was due. A blessing I have carried in my heart from the moment she was conceived/born -- a gem of a human being, born at Treasure Island in California.

I miss her. . . but today, I miss her even more. . . I love you, Heidi and ask for your forgiveness if I hurt you in any way.

8 comments:

Malyss said...

Paulie,
I have tears in my eyes..All my thoughts are with you during this special day.

Your EG Tour Guide said...

Today is such a hard day for you! I feel your pain. I hope Heidi has a change of heart and seeks you out...soon.

diXymiss said...

(((Paulie))) I pray you and Heidi will be reunited someday.

Cindi said...

It's my sincerest hope that your daughter makes a choice to reunite with you sometime soon. I can't think of anything worse than going through what you are dealing with as far as she is concerned.

becky aka theRAV said...

I am so sorry to hear this Paulie. It brought tears to my eyes. I pray you will hear from your beloved daughter. We never know what other people's burdens are until we tell them. I have a cuz in Idaho who is refusing to come see his sick mother, my Daddy's only sibling. He is in charge of everything yet how can he be if he is not in charge of himself?

Love Bears All Things said...

I'm sorry. Does she know where you are? As you know we found our foster daughter about 3 years ago after 20 years. We met and got to know each other. Her family came to visit us and spent the weekend. We met at Christmas two years. About this time last year, I called her after not hearing from her for a month or two. She said she and her husband were divorcing and she was moving out. I have called and left messages but she hasn't returned my calls. I don't know what is going on with her. I know how that makes me feel. So, I feel your pain. Hopefully, she will contact you. I pray that you will be reunited.
Blessings,
Mama Bear

dot said...

So sorry Paulie. I have a duaghter too and I don't think I could bear what you are going through.

storyteller said...

Lovely purple blossoms. My heart aches for you in this loss and my prayers are that you'll be reunited.
Hugs and blessings,

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